November 24, 2001

so, how do you feel?

i’ve been asked this question about over a thousand times in the past three months, and over 750 times in the past three days. so far, i haven’t been able to find a satisfying answer. besides, my mind is buzzing with more questions of my own. perhaps those who are getting into an arranged marriage will understand what it is like to grope for that certain ‘feeling’ you have yet to define.

this is my last entry as a single girl who loves her freedom like any other.
i’m getting married tomorrow.

after tomorrow, everything will change.
roles will change.
friends will change.
families will change.
home will be far away from home.
career? yes, that too might change.

i don’t know what tomorrow holds for me, and i’m touched by all the attention i’m getting right now. amid all these mixed feelings, i guess i’m comfortably numb. but like the smell of fresh mehandi on my hands right now, i know this will change too.

i’m looking forward to this new leaf of life i’m going to read.
because i know somewhere deep inside, that i will be me forever.

ps: it’ll be at least a month before i get back to my blogging. for all that happens in the meantime, don’t forget to watch this space 🙂

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