March 10, 2001

HMPH!

it was a conspiracy. and holi could not have been a better occassion.

today, SIX people lectured me on the importance of getting married “on time…”

i just knew something like this would take place when i learnt that all my aunts and uncles were coming over for holi. the grilling session went on from 3 pm to 7 pm, and finally as i took their leave, they gave the ultimate advise to my parents “chaliye janardhanji, ab shree ganesh ka naam leke iske liye ladka dhoondna shuru kijiye”

yeah right! all i need now are blessings from the elephant god.




i’m a big big girl in a big big world…

chacko called this evening. we must have contacted each other barely four times in the past twelve months, and he almost jumped out of the phone when i recognised his voice instantly. we remembered the days at Impulse Advertising, where i was almost ‘forced’ to work, and how he helped me quit the place.

sometimes i wonder if i’m still sore about those six months of humiliation, when i could not even protest because my “boss” happened to be my father’s “friend.”

but it helped me learn enough. i picked up the basics in advertising, and my interest in copywriting from there. i learnt how grown-up and supposed-to-be-mature individuals can stoop so low as to make life miserable…just so they get to hog the limelight.

i also learnt that it is unwise to employ your client’s daughter in your company.

had it not been for chacko’s nagging encouragement, i would never have the courage to apply to “the” indian express at nariman point, much against my parents’ wishes.

(it all seems so funny now…i met venkatesh hariharan, with nothing but my bony resume and the mid-day cut-out of the appointment ad, when both my parents were out of town 😉 i was so sure that i’d get rejected, i thought they need’nt know about any interview at all!)

but that was over five years ago.

hmmm, how time flies…

a father who was so over-protective about his daughter that he did not send her to a college that was 40 minutes away by train, today has given her the freedom to stay alone…at bangalore, and now at nerul, even though home is so close by.

and chacko started it all 🙂




my (dad’s) camera and me :-)

i love achchan’s camera, especially the 70x210mm zoom, without which i never feel like i’ve shot a picture. all i need is an excuse to get it out. and there couldnt have been a better excuse today!

it never fails to amaze me how different i can be behind a camera…totally unlike the usual self-conscious, at-times-introvert that i can be. i’ve been amid a crowd at puri, atop a half-broken-down roof to click pictures of the police bandobast when orissa’s biju patnaik passed away, or talking to (photogenic) strangers like the old watchman at a dam in bangalore, the enfield-rickshaw-wallah at beyt dwarka, or the boy on the cycle who had huge bulky and colourful plastic water carriers on either side of his puny vehicle.

this morning i was shooting the kids and the ‘older’ kids as they threw colour and baloons at each other from my house on the sixth floor, and one of them caught me in the act. before i knew it, all of them were looking upward! and i dont even know anyone in our building, since i go home just once a week.

anticipating my embarrassment, amma immediately ran to my rescue, but she walked away nodding her head in disbelief. in no time, and in spite of the six floors between us, i actually got ALL of them to pose for me !

now, if only the photographs would come out fine too 😉




holi-day!!

woke up at 10 am (!)

strange. i just realised i don’t like coffee.

it’s been a long time since i had a good cup of strong filter coffee. perhaps that’s why i don’t like coffee anymore. not here in bombay, except at granny’s home, or of course, bangalore.

amma was surprised when i refused the second coffee she offered in the morning (i used to have at least seven cups a day). but i think secretly, she was glad i did.

though i still have to have my morning dose of caffeine, or i get a headache (read, withdrawal symptoms), the reduced quantity is surely helping the skin on my face breathe 😉




March 9, 2001

hmmm…

i’m going to thane on a friday night.
after a long long time, i’m going to spend the weekend at home.

apart from the good food and house home arrest, i think i know what’s coming, more LECTURES 😮




March 8, 2001

women’s day, bah!

will anybody give me one reason why International Women’s Day is celebrated? to me, it seems like its the day when women themselves have given the world the license to be hypocrites for a day.

why else would someone say that “its the day women get to treat men like they treat women the rest of the year.” now that’s the STUPIDEST thing i’ve ever heard!!

i wonder how microland celebrated women’s day this time. last year when i was in bangalore, they sent out “sexy” e-invites that said it was mandatory for every she-gender there to attend.

on d-day, the venue was a the canteen which was transformed to look like a kottha…white mattresses and red rose petals strewn all over them. the indya.com guys (who arranged the event) were dressed in asingle robe, like romans, and they had laurels over their head. as every unassuming girl entered the room, rose water was sprinkled on them. perhaps the ambience was meant to soothe, but it only made me more suspicious every moment. drinks were served, and of course, cigarettes too. most of them (the girls) were regular drinkers…but not that i had a problem with that. i’m not a hypocrite, and i’ve had my share of a “drag” in my time. it was what followed after the drinks that i objected to…the men.

and the by-now-high-women who followed them on the “dance floor.” one of them poured beer all over a guy and licked him clean, the other guys started unveiling what lay beneath their “exotic” single-robe roman attire. thoroughly scandalised by now, i wanted to leave, but the guy at the door wouldnt let me…the girls were screaming inside, some out of sheer ecstacy, some desparate, some drunk, and thankfully, a few who were really as horrified as me.

as i was led back into the room, i sensed that things were getting back to normal “fun”. a few kids were called in to sing and dance. or at least that was what i thought, until…

the next thing i knew, i’d pushed the guy-at-the-door out of my way and storming back to office, white with anger and shock at what i was going to be witness to…a strip show. is this the new dotcom culture that i had been hearing about? was this where venture fundists were pouring in all their money? for goodness sake, college kids stripping in office?? how much had they been paid?? my head reeled with questions, but i was unable to open my mouth. my friend eby thought i was going to have a nervous breakdown and left all his work to take me back to the guest house. nitin and nupur, who also lived in the guest house, drove in soon later, eby apparently had told them something was wrong and did not know what to do.

women’s day indeed. i guess no one noticed that there were other women in the building too. and these women were climbing the four storeys with bricks over their head, two of them had children in their arms… oh yeah, but they were not women, they were labourers, right?

today at zdnet india, women’s day is celebrated again. but in a different way. though i still don’t know who came up with a day for women, i’m thankful we are not a pampered bunch of dotcommers here.

what you give, comes back to you. and if you don’t respect what you get, you did not deserve it at all in the first place. perhaps that is what the dotcom wave was here to teach us. those who were thoroughly pampered at first, are soon beaten in the end.

and itspace was just one of them.




happy birthday, viji varghese…

“and wherever you are,
and whatever you do,
may the best things that are,
all be coming to you”

remember our tenth-class farewell party viji…?
but when i wrote this on your autograph book, i never imagined i would really never see you again.

we were together since class eighth, when you opted for french and came into the ‘a’ division, and we became friends. we always shared the same bench, spent recess sharing each other’s dabbas (in fact, i remember it was mostly my dabba, and you often bought samosas from the school canteen…you loved the food that my mom used to send and i loved seeing you enjoy having it). i did not have many friends then, and i still haven’t been able to figure out why akshara and anupama always objected to my being with you. i did not care, perhaps that’s why i never let you know.

school was so much fun. remember how i used to complain about my big nose, and you about how you disliked your long fingers? but i always said that they were long so you learn to play the piano someday. you loved to talk, about your sisters shiji and reji, your uncle in dubai who you hated so much, and your huge palatial home at ulhasnagar, where you went every weekend…”there are SO many rooms radhu, i’ll at least need an hour to take you around all of them,” those were your words viji, and how i loved to listen to you. i promised you i’d come, and i haven’t forgotten.

after our ssc exams, which were held in different schools, i tried to get in touch with you, so many times…thirteen letters, and about seven or eight greeting cards…i continued to send them to your palace in ulhasnagar. a card for every and no occassion, and letters, because i loved to write to you, hoping you’d reply some day. you never did.

it was only after almost two years, when i coaxed my father into taking me to your home all the way, that i realised why you did not reply. we looked all over ulhasnagar, asked at least 20 people about the palatial bunglow that was the only one of its kind.

we finally went to enquire at the post office itself. and they said there was no such place. that huge bunglow was all your dream viji!! you never received my letters. because you never lived there.

i fell sick after we came back that day. i still feel empty when i think of you, and the friendship we shared. did your “bad” uncle take you to dubai? are you married now? are you working somewhere? are you safe viji?

no i’m not angry with you for the lies you told me. because they were where you wanted to be. i want you to know that i still haven’t forgotten you. i look forward to seeing you some day, i have so much to tell you, i’m sure you have too.

and hey i also wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and wherever you are, and whatever you do, may the best things that are, all be coming to you.




March 7, 2001

aaaaaargggggghhhh!!!!

sometimes, in spite of having loving friends around, you tend to feel lonely inside. i always wonderd why. now i know.

because pain can isolate.

the acupuncture treatment is not helping me. today, the pain was so bad that i thought my time has finally come. i dread anyone asking me “how’s your backache?” and i feel the person asking me this question dreads my answer too, because its always the same, if not worse.

today i also realised the importance of what my mother had been driving into my head for so many months, and the day-long-joint-marathon-lecture that i received this sunday from my mother, and mahesh, who had come to stay over.

…that apart from the right diagnosis, my back needs rest, and lots of it. i bunked my acupuncture session today, left office at around 6:30 pm, walked home slowly, and collapsed on the bed till 10:30 pm, when mahesh reminded a totally disoriented me about dinner. the sleep did not really cure the increased pain, but somewhere, i did feel calm inside, and no longer lonely.




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