March 7, 2001

aaaaaargggggghhhh!!!!

sometimes, in spite of having loving friends around, you tend to feel lonely inside. i always wonderd why. now i know.

because pain can isolate.

the acupuncture treatment is not helping me. today, the pain was so bad that i thought my time has finally come. i dread anyone asking me “how’s your backache?” and i feel the person asking me this question dreads my answer too, because its always the same, if not worse.

today i also realised the importance of what my mother had been driving into my head for so many months, and the day-long-joint-marathon-lecture that i received this sunday from my mother, and mahesh, who had come to stay over.

…that apart from the right diagnosis, my back needs rest, and lots of it. i bunked my acupuncture session today, left office at around 6:30 pm, walked home slowly, and collapsed on the bed till 10:30 pm, when mahesh reminded a totally disoriented me about dinner. the sleep did not really cure the increased pain, but somewhere, i did feel calm inside, and no longer lonely.

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