September 15, 2002

ramblings on a sunday morning

this is getting even more difficult than i had imagined it to be.

i’m happy to have my own space.
i’m happy i now have a job.
i’m happy i got seen on guardian uk.
i’m happy i got seen on rediff. thanks to anita 🙂
i’m happy i might soon get seen on ….. (shhh, i’m not revealing yet 😉

but i’m certainly not happy i’m not able to devote quality time to entelechy.

i have never put them on paper (or any web site, if you like), but i’m aware of the standards i have set for my journal. one of them includes a sincere attempt to not-regress into rambling…like i used to many (journal) entries ago.

i am going to set that rule aside. just for today, just like that.




September 13, 2002

my employer actually let me

my employer actually let me leave early today, just because “it’s been over two weeks and i just have to update my journal!” thanks mishti 🙂 hmm, now, where was i …?




September 8, 2002

the worst part about making

the worst part about making amla achaar is the part where you watch and wait for it to mature.




September 6, 2002

one who loves to write

one who loves to write a journal cannot afford to have a 90-minute travel-time to work 😐




August 29, 2002

overheard today on one of

overheard today on one of the bbc wildlife programmes — “extreme conditions have extreme survivors.” (also… psst! dear monk-best-friend, congratulations on your engagement! 🙂




my conversations with earth

some of my most memorable moments during my vipassana course, were the post-lunch breaks…and of course, the almost 13 different varieties of soothing herbal teas (which i plan to write about soon too)…

—————————————————-

it’s amazing to realise how much your mind chatters even when there is no communication with the outside world. you suddenly discover hidden joys in little things, secrets you smile to yourself about, and a smug feeling about the love inside you, that you so much want to share. and then there are also moments when you discover the little mischief monger in your mind.

despite a tight schedule, most of us would try and sneak in whatever exercise we could provide our limbs during the breaks, by simply walking around the areas marked for us. post-lunch, which i always ensured it did not last for over 20 minutes, almost everyday, i walked to the vast green space in front of the women’s residential quarters.

there, i would take off my sandals, roll up my trousers, and sink my naked feet into the lush green ankle-length grass, which seemed to nod its heads under the weight of single dew-drops glistening in the light of the 11:30 am sun. lifting my foot, i’d glide my feet over the soft green blades, letting them tickle me gently, and then put it down on the warm earth again. walking slowly, alive and aware of every silent sensation it created, rustling the grass all over, my feet were drenched to the bone from the all the dew they had stolen…

gradually my co-meditators would return from their lunch too. one interesting observation: some of them followed, taking off their slippers and walking, enticed by the green like i was. others saw the sun shining above, promptly rushed in to get their mats or coats, spread them out on the grass quickly, rolled up or even took off their shirts, and began to sun-bathe. the ones that walked on the grass barefeet were the indians among us; the rest who prefered to lie down on the grass were europeans.

two cultures
one ground
one sky
one feeling
sshhh…

a noiseless twenty minutes later, i walked back to my room. stretching myself on the bed, i smiled to myself and closed my eyes… content with the thought that i had deprived everyone of the pleasure of having discovered some of life’s deepest secrets from the dew-tipped grass 🙂




August 28, 2002

i’ll never forget how i

i’ll never forget how i used to wait all week for my favourite heidi cartoon on tv back home. this weekend, i’m off to visit her home…switzerland!




August 27, 2002

maturity is a myth. how

maturity is a myth. how mature you are, depends on how you handle a situation that you are in.




why we need a ten-day reality retreat

happiness is a colourful little bubble, and right now i’m in it 🙂

the thought occurred to me umpteen times even as my feet carried me unwillingly through the two hour-four-train-journey from hemel hempstead in hertfordshire, to burgess hill in west sussex. even as i flipped my ticket between my fingers while waiting for my trains, wondering whether i should turn back, and noticed the ‘return ticket’ punched on it accidently…i could turn back!

i was probably enjoying one of the happiest times of my life — married only for nine months; hardly two weeks in a new home, and a just week away from my first job abroad…why then did i sign up for a serious course that would keep me away from my loving husband not for one or two, but ten full days, and make me work hard from 4:30 am to 9:00 pm every day?

it was too late to reconsider. i had reached my destination and a room was allotted to me. fighting against all the big NOs running in my head, i decided to stay. today, eleven days later, i’m glad i did.




August 13, 2002

i’m leaving for a ten-day

i’m leaving for a ten-day vipassana course *(though i know my parents don’t fully approve). see you all soon, and be good while i’m gone 😉 thanks praveen, for letting me go 😡 *update: just approved 🙂




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