my visit to jayashree’s house made me realise how aloof i had become from the rest of my friends at school and college.

since it was a sunday and i was alone at home in thane, i decided to call mayura. we were neighbours for over 13 years. she got married three years ago, and advait is 11-month old now.

i did not have her phone number, and there was no one i could ask, so i tried all possible combinations of the numbers i vaguely remembered belonged to her.

twenty minutes and at least six wrong numbers later, her husband picked up the phone. he said he’d give her the message, because she was coaxing advait to sleep. (i shuddered, marriage really makes a woman out of a person. will i ever be ready for it?)

ten minutes later, mayura called…she thought her husband was joking.

i was glad i took the initiative to call her up. like jayashree, she had a lot to say too. we spoke for two whole hours. but that is just for now…

jayashree and i have known each other class eight in school. both of us opted for french as the second language, and that’s how we met.

she was bubbly, extrovert and very bold, and, being rather an introvert in school, i loved her company and her sense of humour. she was also the class monitor, and had her way with teachers.

school led to college, and though we had a big group now, jayashree and i grew even closer. we used to walk hand-in-hand, buy lottery tickets, get in the wrong trains, relish sugarcane juice on our way home, sneak through the compound when there was a college-teachers-strike, and sneak back out just for the heck of it. we spent hours at each others homes…she later used to take stitching classes from my mom and i liked to shoot her with my dad’s camera.

days passed. i got busy with my job and the affairs that surrounded it, and she got married. two years later, she became a mother.

as i walked to her home today, i couldnt believe it was 18 months since gayatri was born. would i be able to relate to a mother?

gayatri had the answers. she bridged the initial silence of almost four years in an instant! while jayashree made dal wadas in the kitchen (she did not know it was my favourite snack), i played with her kid and we caught up on the lost years.

i found it difficult to accept that jayashree was now a full-time housewife, and even attended haldi-kumkum functions and bisi parties…something that we used to ridicule while in college.

was this really the jayashree i knew? yes. deep inside, she was still there.

jayashree offered to drop me to the gate (its a five-minute walk away from her home), her husband vijayan offered to babysit their kid till she came back.

as we walked toward the gate and waved goodbye to viju and gayatri, we unconsciously held each other’s hands, and i felt a painful lump in my throat. i looked at jayashree and she had tears in her eyes too.

“radhu, its been so long since i held a friend’s hand…come more often. i need you”

those words haunted me all the way home. sorry jayashree, i was so caught up with my life, i forgot you were so much a part of me too.

i thought of the things i could do for her…could i get her a job she could do from home, a hobby, plants for her home, books? nah, but she didn’t need those.

i called her an hour later…
“next week, i’m coming over to your place to stay for a day.”

some days ago, shvetank told me a story about ed. i thought it was a very nice gesture on his part…besides, it was the first time my boss ever ‘talked’ to me. but though i understood what he was trying to suggest, i wondered if it would ever be possible for me to leave office on time.

after all, i handle the home page at zdnetindia, and when i leave entirely depends on when my colleagues let me go. (i have to wait until they give me whatever is required for the day…articles, images etc.)

but i learnt from the ed shvetank told me about, and by deciding to take up the acupuncture treatment, i made the right move.

i leave office by 5:00 every evening, because i have to reach my clinic at dombivili before 6:30 pm. now, if any of my colleagues have to submit articles or images for the home page update (i even got that changed to the morning), it has to be in my inbox before i leave for the day. there still are a few who might never improve and give it on time, but the whole exercise made me realise one surprising fact.

from 9:30 am to 5:00 pm, i do the same amount of work that used to keep me busy till 9:30 pm all these days!

thanks for the story shvetank! now to just tweak my new schedule a little, and i’ll soon be able to get back to painting, reading, blogging (regularly) and who knows, even write articles for zdnet india!

there IS a cure!

every specialist i visited only said there’s no cure for my backache, because it was a deeper ‘bone problem.’ “er, i could prescribe some painkillers…” no sir, thank you.

i am very fussy when it comes to visiting a doctor, and my nagging backache had only made me more skeptical. but eight years, four x-rays, three specialists and failed attempts at physiotherapy and medicine later, i finally found a reassuring doctor, and alternative medicine.

i’d only heard of it till today, and it was my granny who convinced me to give it a try. the conditions…i had to be extremely patient and tolerant. hmmm, did i have a choice?

she was right.

dr acharya is said to fight pain with pain. and he uses what is called acupuncture.

my initial reaction was that of curiosity. and i guess this time it did get the better of me 😉
to my surprise, after the initial diagnosis, the doctor asked me if i could handle the pain if it got much worse, for another year. but then he also assured me that i’ll be cured. i agreed.

starting today, i would be treated with electro-acupuncture.

it is going to be a slow and painful journey. eight copper-head needles are inserted in my back and for 30 minutes every day for 15 days, a minor battery current will be passed through them. this process will again repeat after 15 days, and so on for the entire year. phew!

gawd! if it wasnt so serious it would be funny. now i know what a cell phone must feel like when it is being charged!

DON’T do something you’ll regret on january first (you’ll repeat the same throughout the year)
DON’T forget to pray at least once a day (those who don’t pray are not pious and sincere)
DON’T cut your nails on tuesdays, fridays and saturdays
DON’T give or take money with your left hand
DON’T sit at the doorway (that’s where the devil stays)
DON’T enter the puja room wearing your chappals
DON’T touch pickles when you are having your periods (the pickles will go stale)
DON’T cut your hair after 7 pm or on saturdays, and certainly NOT before amavasya
DON’T look into the mirror when you’re applying oil to your hair
DON’T sit in front of elders showing them your feet (it means disrespect)
DON’T venture out in the afternoons alone (not with your hair open, it invites lost souls)
DON’T do this, don’t do that…

give me a scientific reason for any ONE of these, and i’ll believe anything you want me to.

this was the argument between my parents and me about two months back, and they still don’t have the answers. because there really aren’t any.

psst! actually, i think they know it too 😉

today, my parents wanted to visit the mahalaxmi temple in kolhapur, and they asked me if i’d accompany them. since i had nothing else to do, i agreed.

the movie lasted for almost 40 minutes…
the actors were all who were inside the temple premises. there was just one spectator: me.

they saw their answers in the deity, i could see beauty in the stone;
they chanted mantras and prayers, i could hear the soothing vibrations that the words created;
they went three times around the main temple, i saw their longing to remain with those vibrations;
they sat around in the temple distributing prasad and pedas, i saw their means to earn a one-time meal;
they drooled at girls with greedy eyes (even before they crossed the temple gates); i saw that they were the kind of men who could turn into animals.

they were only humans, and there was no god.

it was a strange experience. i knew i had changed.

having been in this role for almost 25 years, i now cannot act anymore.

it was 7:45 am.

i was at the ground floor, waiting for the elevator, when what i saw hit me like a bright new sun ray.

it was the lady who got out of the elevator.

there was this air of calm about her, her freshly washed hair loosely tied in a low knot like most malayalees; she smelled of shikakai and mild incense…the vibhuti on her forehead told me she’s just done her puja, and her warm and peaceful smile told me she was heading toward the ayyappa temple down the road.

i thought it strange, why she suddenly seemed to make me stop…
why i felt like going home and cuddling under my quilt till i got my bed coffee,
why i felt like being pampered with hot dosas and molagapodi or fesh poha and curd,
why my sleep disappeared all of a sudden, and i felt so full of her…

the questions raced in my head as i smiled back at her, and i felt it hurt deep inside.

it was you amma, i miss you.

i wonder why everyone waits for the New Year to make resolutions.

this year-end, we visited this hill-station called amba, 66 kilometres away from kolhapur in maharashtra. the ‘resort’ that we stayed in belongs to my sister’s friend’s classmate’s father, who has been enjoying his retirement days with this now-a-year-old-‘forest-resort-venture’.

brrrr, it was soooo chilly!

so while the world was partying till the late hours in the morning, i went to bed at 9:30 pm, and woke up at 6 am on the first day of the new year 🙂

each year, i plan spending new year’s eve with friends…walking on the beautifully-lit streets of mumbai late in the night and eating bhel puri at churchgate, or someplace (any place)away from home. but no matter how hard i try to get away every year, i find myself with my family again.

hmmm, i guess that’s how it has to be. next time, i don’t think i’ll be making any more plans.

strange, in those six hours, one of my favourite lobo songs played twice in the background…

i had made a realistic wish on my birthday, and it came true.

For the second time in my life, i won and lost again. and all it took was six hours, five years, a lifetime, and my favourite jacket.