July 11, 2003

the becoming?

i give up.

there’s no point in waiting for “inspiration” to strike, and make my fingers dance all over the keyboard once again.

my in-laws have left, and so have rashmi and zubin. i had a great time with everyone here…there was so much to share but no time to write.

i have run out of excuses today. with all the time in the world to write (okay, i still have my freelance job and my routine household chores to look after), i wonder what i want to share? and what do i leave out?

sighh, for now, i’m just going to type. just between us…

…these days i often remember the girl who, hours before she was to be married, stole up to her computer amid all her sleeping relatives to write down her conversation with herself. a promise that come what may, she was not going to change.

twenty months later, in a world so distant that only phonecards matter, friends are in the inbox, family is all there is and career is just another job…

i wonder how much of that promise was kept, and how much of it made any sense at all. because today, i know i do not want to trade this moment for any other, yet the girl is just a memory i carry in my heart.

is that what marriage is all about?

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